Fashion is something that a lot of men steer relatively clear of, allowing the women in their lives to dominate that portion of their lives - if they allow fashion into their lives at all. But everybody seems to have an opinion about what people wear at the Oscars. Who is the best dressed. Who is the worst dressed. Women, men, children all seem to have their likes and dislikes about what looks good or bad on who... So the day after the Academy Awards finds the media saturated with snippets and shorts, stories and articles, exposes and exclusives about the best dressed and the worst dressed, the fashion bombs and the fashion winners, photos, pictures, and videos. You can't turn on an electronic device without Whoopi Goldberg pouncing on you with her leopard-print horror or Sarah Jessica Parker's mannish face emerging above a beautiful gown (and good for her; it distracted from what was above the neck). The Best And Worst Dressed Men At The Academy Awards For the gentlemen who come to the Oscars, a simple black tuxedo usually suffices. But you know that some of the guys have to be creative, so they can't even get that one simple fashion rule down. Take Philip Seymour Hoffman, for example. Great actor. He was dressed all in black, including something that look tike a beret or a tam on his large noggin. The effect? A big guy rolled up in a sofa cover. With a head covering. Atrocious. Oh, and he looked like he slept in it, whatever it was. Esquire agrees. Hoffman was the worst dressed at the Academy Awards. If you are going to go all black, Oscar-nominated Sean Penn ("Milk") had the right look. Graceful cut to his tuxedo. Black shirt. Probably gay approved as well (as it should be, the man looked good enough to win an Oscar). You want to know how it is done, just take a look at Hugh Jackman. Simple traditional black tuxedo. That's the look, guys. Study. Take notes. Actually, take a note. Simple traditional black tuxedo. Got it? Good. Leave it alone. Who else? Dev Patel, the teen star of "Slumdog Millionaire," which took home eight Academy Awards at the 2009 Oscars, including Best Picture. Looking good is important if the camera is going to be on you all night, win or lose.
On the flip side of the same coin, the director of "Slumdog Millionaire," Danny Boyle, looked as if he just rushed over to the Oscars after putting in 12 hours at the office. Open collar, long tie. No. And ... no. Among the best dressed, according to Esquire, Oscar-nominated Brad Pitt ("The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"), Twilight's Robert Pattinson, Oscar-nominated Frank Langella ("Frost/Nixon"), Zac Efron, Oscar-nominated Robert Downey, Jr. ("Tropic Thunder") and Ryan Seacrest. Esquire also mention the above-mentioned Jackman and Patel, plus a risqué Mickey Rourke, a stylish Daniel Craig, and Sean Penn.
The worst? Oscar-nominated Ron Howard (director, "Frost/Nixon"), who needed a shave. Esquire said that John Legend had over-accessorized with a tie clasp. They might not have been so hard on him had they known he wasn't singing his own song at the Oscars (he sang Peter Gabriel's tune from "Wall-E").
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It was just a tie clasp, guys. The Best And Worst Dressed Women At The Academy Awards Women are an entirely different subject when it comes to fashion. There are so many different things that can go wrong with a woman's look that it isn't even funny. It's a mix-and-match nightmare. Get the perfect dress and ruin the look with ugly shoes. Perfect shoes and hair, terrible dress. Perfect clothes, slightly off accessories or hair. That's why women spend so much time choosing and getting into their formal clothes. They're looking for the perfect look. And sometimes they find it. Or think they found it. Although the dress Whoopi Goldberg wore looked terrible on her, she still was not the worst dressed. That dubious honor has to go to Tilda Swinton, who won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for "Michael Clayton." Her two-toned dress ensemble was an eye-wrenching abomination - with a bunched-up shoulder effect that just looked as if the polyester tightened up. And then there was that ridiculous Snuggie-gone-wild monstrosity that Jessica Biel had on. Huge swathes of cream cloth billowing from a cream dress... Prada? Was that a joke? Perhaps leftovers from the designer's straight-jacket? Who knows? Miley Cyrus looked like she was dressing for a 4-year-old's princess-themed party in her godawful get-up. Walking the red carpet with her pageant wave bordered on the extremely gauche. As for the best dressed, Angelina Jolie was stunning in black. Penelope Cruz was beautiful in her 1950's-style off-white gown. Natalie Portman was beautiful in her tight... what color was that dress, exactly? E! Online reported put "Slumdog Millionaire" beauty Freida Pinto in the worst dressed. And they were right. But some put Kate Winslet's terrible retro-dress in their best-of as well, but the charcoal effect with the severe pulled-back hair just did not work. One expected her to start doing a Gloria Swanson impression when she accepted her Best Actress Award ("The Reader"). Beyonce's gold-and-black attack made her look as if someone had someone had crumpled up black and gold wrapped paper and placed her inside. E! Online agreed, stating that they had had enough of the mermaid dresses. E! Online trashed Amy Adams gown (said it was part of the carpet she was walking on) as well, but loved her necklace. The dress wasn't terrible, but it did nothing for the girl. However, that hideous distraction around her neck made one forget how forgettable the dress actually was. But, really, when it comes right down to it, the women at the Oscars have it a lot rougher than the men. The men are safe as long as they play conservative, go traditional, get a shave and a nice hair trim. For the women, it all depends on the eye of the beholder.
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